My Work in His Story - Part One

Today is 9 Oct 2008, just 3 more days till I reached my second month in my new workplace. If you ask me these questions -

1.) Is it tough to be there working?

2.) Am I doing lots of Overtime?

3.) Am I feeling very tired?

4.) Do I think it is worth it?

5.) Am i still feeling joyful to go work everyday?

6.) Do i feel that i am moving in the plans God has for me?

Hmm.. After serious considerations, the answer is YES!
Why???

Don't you regret leaving the comfortable workplace that you once were in?
The answer is NO!

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I thank God that despite the difficulties, stretching and tireness - I must admit that I am still feeling joyful to go to work daily. Even having to work on public hoildays, I still am joyful to work. Of course I am happy about the "welfare" that I have over there but utimately I believe and trust that God has placed me there for a purpose. the journey to work daily is my precious moments with the Lord. I really enjoy reading his words and praying. It keeps me focused on him.

So even though things are not so rosy at times, I believe he is there with me. i remembered getting a "Pass It on" card from Xinyi a few sundays ago. It says "There is nothing too tough you and God cannot handle" That was the assurance I received from God while still working at NEA - It was also during the toughest moments there. So after seeing those words, it was a reassurance that God spoke to me in my heart =)

Now at work, each time I clear up some of the backlogs. A hugh satisfaction that I have and I know that I am able to do it because My Abba Father is in partnership with me.

So Dear Abba Father, help me to continue trusting and relying on you day after day after day ... FOREVERMORE ...

September 12, 2008

Just crossed my FIRST month in my new workplace =)

The first month was quite tough. There were so many moments that I wanted to "run" away but yet God knows and he assures me at those moments and affirms me with his promise. I remembered wanting to run just joining the company for 2 days cause two of my new colleagues were tendering and was having a hard time with one of my colleague but God just calm the fear by assuring me that he is there with me and he will not leave me. He encouraged me to press on and trust him. He has placed me there for a reason.

Time flew and after a while i begin to understand and familarise myself with the processes - understanding why i need to do the things i do. Though having to work OT and feeling tired but still God assures me daily that he knows and have placed me there for a reason.

I thank God for dear friends and family who are praying for me daily. I received a sms from Diana It was a timely encouragement cum reminder for me

And What You Do, Do It Heartily As To The Lord And Not To Men. Knowing That From The Lord, You Will Receive The Reward Of The Inheritance For You Serve The Lord - Colossians 3: 23 - 24 -

Something that i realised during my personal reflection - being in God's plans and will for your life may not mean that you will be happy all the time and being in that perfect place. Rather even with all the uncertainities and the feeling of discomfort, you still will continue to trust God and fix your eyes on him.

The Number 10

The number 10 is a significant number in my life. Cos it marks the years that I have served God after backsliding and returning to him - cell ministry. It also marks the number of years that I have worked in MEWR and then transferred to NEA. 3 July 2008 is the day where I officially tendered and 1 August 2008 will be the day where I will leave this familiar place to go to another new place that God has chosen and strategically positioned me in.

It has been 1 and 1/2 years since I started seeking God for my career direction. In the start of the year 2007 while I was doing my reflection in Sentosa, Silosa beach then, I remembered the time to be 11:30am. God gave me this word - "Have Patience and Wait, Surrender and Obey me". He brought me to a passage where Abraham was promised a son in his old age. God reminded me not to be another Sarah who took matters in her own hands and caused much trouble cos she didn't really dare trust God based on the uncertain circumstances she saw and was in.

There at Sentosa, I made a committment and wrote it down in my journal to trust God and have patience to wait, to learn to surrender and obey him ... It was a struggle having to submit my plans to him cos I really wanted to a career in IT but God just closed all doors for me, he didn't even want to leave a window open for me ... He impressed upon my heart to go into the area of accounts. I resisted and wrestled with him for 1 year before I finally told God :"Fine, if that is where you want me to go, please open a door for me"

And God not only open the door, he opened all the windows too. I began having many opportunities to go for interviews. However there were trying moments where I still doubted and struggled with God. But he is faithful and has never let me down. He brought people to pray and encourage me - esp my dear cell frens =) and he brought me much encouragement as I spend time with him.

Then I had an opening in NEA where I thought God may want me to be. Yet at the same time, I also had a chance opportunity to go for another interview. I then asked God :"Lord, please be very clear and certain to show me where you want me to go - Either I will stay in NEA or I will go out of NEA and move clearly to the place that you have chosen and prepared for me. Lord, you will direct me and give me a clear answer and peace - and I will know that it is you. And also the renumeration, location and all the other conditions will be in my favour"

After 2 weeks, I received an offer from the company. Initially, I thought there was no more hope cos they said they will get back to me in a week. But when I receive the call, I was quite shocked. Why? God has blessed and given me more than I have expected - The renumeration, location and all the conditions were all in my favour.

Another reason why I was shocked was after a period of continous seeking and praying for 1 and 1/2 years, God has finally revealed his plans for me.

Instantly, I felt the peace and sense God saying "Go child, this is the one" I spoke to my mum, dad, sister and xinyi too. They know me well and they knew that i was really at peace. They all gave me thumbs up. However I was still a little hesistant even though I said yes.

But God knew me and is always patient and faithful. He knew that if I don't receive a clear confirmation, I will always be wondering. So the next morning, I received the notification from NEA through an email that I was not selected for the position I initally applied for. Then I felt God saying - " Now, do u trust me that I have given you a clear answer?"

I thanked God for all he has done and was really bubbling with joy. My colleagues could see that I was really happy but they didn't know why. My closer friends at work were also very happy for me. I know the answer because God has shown me the direction he wants me to go. He has planned my future many years ago and now he has revealed it to me.

I can never thank God enough. Indeed the 1 and 1/2 years of pressing on in prayer though I struggled a lot and was trying my best to be as patient and obedient for his will for my life. The assurance he gave me through (Psm 37:4 and Jer 29:11) brought me great comfort. These are the 2 verses that have been my assurance since serving in cell ministry and me going out into the market place.

(Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart - Psm 37:4)

(For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future - Jer 29: 11)

11 August 2008 marks a new journey for me in my career path. It is going to be a truly exciting time for me. And I am gonna continue trusting God to lead and guide me and show me more of his plans. To also commit my career and other aspects of my life to him =)

Dear Abba Father, I can never praise or thank you enough.

Thank you Abba Father =)

~ R ~ A ~ I ~ N ~ B ~ O ~ W ~ S ~

= The Rainbow Connection =

Heard HMV playing this song while on my way to PC Show on friday. Her voice is really soothing and I remembered listening to it while i was younger. I walked past city link to go PC Show again and i heard the song again =) Decided to buy the CD on sunday while walking through citylink to go to the MRT.

Currently it is listed as my "Favourite song" on my IPOD and jukebox at work ...

Yep, Yep .. u are absolute right .... for those who know me - it will be playing on my IPOD's default mode till the next nice song captures my heart ... That's me =)

= Pastoral Lesson =

While listening to it on my way home and i suddenly thought - The Rainbow was a promise of God's covenant to Noah.

And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." So God said to Noah, "This is the sign of the covenant I have established between me and all life on the earth." Gen 9:12 - 17

And at that moment, I really am assured by God's promises and plan for my life. His promise to me ...

(For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jer 29:11)

(Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psa 37:4 )

My life and future is in the palm of his hands so i need to continue to trust him for the things that i am praying for =) So no matter how the wait may seem. When God says I promise, he definitely will fulfill it :)

Yep =) He definitely will ... I will trust him and be patient =)



Here is the song .... ENJOY ! Courtesy of You Tube

Praying the Heart of God

Been wanting to blog this for a while. But didn't have the time to do so ... Finally !!!

Have you been in that special moment when God reveals his heart to you?

And as he reveals his heart to you - you begin to experience the grieve, the joy and every other emotions that just flows into your heart .

The feelings and emotions though overwhelming and heavy yet an unexplainable joy bubbles forth in your heart. You begin seeing how God view this one thing or person. The great love he has and why he chose to die on the cross for this one person.

Prayer no longer seems just to be an utterance of words, requests and the things I want. But it becomes a divine connection and communication with your ABBA Father. The perspective no longer seems skin deep and your view of things and people just expands beyond any mortal's understanding.

The freshness that the refreshment brings just cause you to want more and more of this experience. It drives you forward wanting to have these special encounters with God more and helps you desire him more and more.

=)

In Your Presence O God - Lynn Deshazo

I was searching the internet and came across the PDF format of her testimony and how she came to compose the song. The lyrics and tune came to her by the power of the holy spirit in 1993. She was going about her daily routines when this line kept playing in her head - I want to go where the rivers cannot overflow me, where my feet are on the rock. She mentioned that she realised that the rivers she wrote in her song was not Rivers of Refreshment, they were rivers mentioned in Isa 43:2 and this song was given to the people as a form of encouragement for the difficult times ahead like the september 11, 2001 event faced by the US people.

This song talks of Lynn herself wanting to be in a place where the rivers cannot over flow or over whelm her.

More of her testimony ==> http://www.lynndeshazo.com/articles/InYourPresence.pdf

IN YOUR PRESENCE, O GOD - By Lynn DeShazo
(Recorded and compiled in Paul Wilbur's album)

I want to go where the rivers cannot overflow me
Where my feet are on a rock
I want to hide where the blazing fire cannot burn me
In Your presence, O God

Chorus:
In Your presence, that's where I am strong
In Your presence, O Lord my Go
In Your presence, that's where I belong
Seeking Your face, touching Your grace
In the cleft of the rock
In Your presence, O God
I want to hide where the flood of evil cannot reach me
Where I'm covered by Your blood
I want to be where the schemes of darkness cannot touch me
In Your presence, O God
(repeat chorus)

Bridge:
You are my firm foundation
I trust in You all day long
I am Your child and Your servant
And You are my strength and my song
You're my song

Words and Music by Lynn DeShazo
© 1995 Integrity's Hosanna! Music/ASCAP Lyrics reprinted by permission

My Dear Phone called Gree'nie (Part 2) and the lessons learnt

Some people asked me :"Suz, it is only a phone, why are u so upset? Just get it replaced and move on" My answer then was that though my phone was really not reliable and gave me lots of problem, I still love it. To me then though it was not working as well as it should, I still do treasure it a lot. I love every of my electronic gadget that I owned =)

However during cell word when Vincent was sharing about sacrifice. I was pondering on the fact as to why I took the loss of my handphone so hard. The night before I couldn't really sleep and was tossing and turning thus was feeling super tired the next day. As I was reflecting and listening to the sharing, just felt God impressing the main issue upon my heart. It was the issue of control and willingness.

To me, the phone belongs to me and it is considered MY processions. It belongs to ME and NO ONE including God should try to take it away from me. Instead of giving God control of my whole life, giftings, career, processions, I was in fact subconsciously withholding and guarding these things from God and claiming it as MY OWN and God has no hold over it.

It was like this - God, I really do love u and desire the closeness with u BUT these are MY things so it belongs to ME. And please do not touch MY things. Please respect my decision.

When I finally understand why I was so upset, it was like God asking me straight in my face there and then "Suzanne, my dear child, are u WILLING to give me CONTROL in EVERY aspect of your life including your processions? I want not just not ONE area or some areas BUT ALL OF IT. Are you WILLING to give me that CONTROL?

As I shared that lesson learnt through my reflection with my cell during the word, i realised i couldn't do it. That's why I teared. I was ashamed of myself.

But God is good and faithful, forever a GOD of love - He gave me another opportunity on sunday itself during the service to make a choice to surrender and give him full control of my life, processions, career choices, ministry and even the relationships that I want and have to him.

Now as I looked back, I thanked God for teaching me such a valuable lesson. Even as a long time christian, I am constantly receiving fresh revelation from God and having him correct and mold me to be the person he desires me to be

Last year the word for me was To surrender my life and everything that i hold on tightly to and be obedient. It was a preparation and continuation for what he wants to do in my life for this year, 2008. I have seen how he opens the door for me when i accept his plans and will for my life in my career, cell ministry and relationship with God. There were many impossible moments but yet he grant me the openings.

Life seems "smoother" when u really entrust your future and life to God. I am still learning and listening and obeying. I am excited for all the other lessons God is teaching and continually to teach me.

This is an exciting year when i begin running my 3rd lap. I am also trusting God for other areas in my life =) Hmmm Hmmmm :)

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Dear Abba Father

I promise to run on faithfully in the race to win the prize that you, my God is giving me =) Thank U my God for being so real and teaching me lessons I need to learn time and time again. Thank U for being so patient and loving a little me, sometimes so stiff neck and disobedient. Constantly running away from you yet u always draw me back to your presence.

But most of all, thank U Abba Father for saving me, choosing me, allowing me to serve u and seeing your purpose and plan for my life.

Going from my 10s .... 20s ..... 30s and counting on and on and on ....... for many many more years of your faithfulness and love u will continue to shower in my life. Teach me O lord to know your heart and let me listen to your voice. I desire to walk in greater intimacy with u and to develope an even greater level of deepness in my relationship with u.

=) I love you, Abba Father,

Love,
From your grateful daughter